NO MATTER WHAT THE SITUATION, AS A WORKING MUM WE ARE EFFECTED – GOOD, BAD OR INDIFFERENT!

​Do you question whether you should have a career when you’re a mum? Should you be at home looking after the household and doing drop offs, pickups, afternoon tea, homework, etc.?
​
Or, do you have no choice, but to work?

I have struggled with this from both sides. I had to go back to work very soon after Rubes was born because of financial reasons and then after a few years it shifted to wanting to work because I loved what I do.

So, I know sometimes we don’t have a choice, but to work. And, then we chose to work because we love it and want a career.
Irrespective, both scenarios bring its challenges, emotional issues and negative thoughts and feelings.

I believe, if you choose to work, it is absolutely your right to have a career and work. If you have to work, it should still be enjoyable. No matter the reason for working you can still be faced with a lot of judgement out there, which can impact how we feel about ourselves, viewed by others and triggers that might come from both the work and home environments.

Have you ever received the ‘look’ at work when you have needed to go to pick your children up from day-care of school during work hours because they are sick or have an appointment? That look of disdain - ‘why should you get to leave early’, (or on time, in actual fact).  I have received the ‘look’ when leaving bang on finishing time because I needed to get my daughter from afterschool. And, quite a few years ago, when she was at day-care, there were a number of times I had to leave to get in the middle of the day because she had critters (aka nits) and I got the ‘look’ then. I couldn’t leave her there and be responsible for some many other children having critters. How many ‘looks’ would I get then?

Even if there was no look, perhaps you have a pang of guilt because you feel like you are letting down the work team for leaving. I have felt that for sure.

But, my daughter is my priority and her being picked up so she doesn’t share her critters or be left late at afterschool; her health and wellbeing, comes first.
 
What about those times when there is an assembly and your little one is getting an award. You can’t miss that, can you? But, you might get the ‘look’ or feel crap for arriving late because you go. Or, you can’t go because you can’t get the time off work. How does that make you feel?

Those special moments for your children are irreplaceable. Feeling bad about not being able to go, or going and feeling guilty and thinking people are judging you or have an issue with it, takes away from the joy of sharing it.

There are many companies that are completely supportive of working mums providing opportunities to work part-time or enabling a job sharing situation and provide a space for women to continue to grow their careers irrespective of mummy-status or not. However, there are still many companies who give the impression that they do, but actions speak louder than words and, women are still made to feel bad or awkward about having both, which is obvious when they miss opportunities or are over-looked for a promotion because the next level role requires someone there full-time, or just made to feel shit about working and being a mum by peers. Quite frankly, a lot of women work so efficiently that a full-time job could be done in 3 days anyway—but that’s a whole other article!

There are many comments I can make about companies still not walking the walk when it comes to supporting mums, but I will stop at this last one which I think is vital: that is the lack of facilities for expressing milk at work. OMG!  We need to give those companies the collective ‘look’! When I went back to work when Rubes was three months old I needed to express. Guess where I had to breastfeed? The toilets, which was really the only quiet and completely private space. Not nice. And, I had comments made like ‘Is it morning tea time? Can you provide the milk?’ Seriously??

Have you experienced something like that, too? I am sure I am not alone.

In summary, working because you want or working because you have to, what is absolutely critical in order to function at your optimal level and be the best person for yourself and family, is your overall health, mental and emotional wellbeing, and being able to ensure you manage any feelings that come up at work. Feelings of stress, overwhelmed, anxiety and everything else in between. This can be both at work and in your home.

Finding that balance with working, feeling fine with your work environment and how it accepts you, being a mum, running a household, and everything else that comes with being a woman, needs to happen in order to be the best person for yourself, family and friends and, to stay health, mentally,  emotionally and physically.

Finding the key to having the emotional, mental and physical calm and peace to be able to deal with all the pressures we have today, is the aim. I have used EFT / Tapping to deal with the emotions that have come up for me being a working mum.

EFT / Tapping could be the answer. Why not explore it further and see what impact it could make on your day to day being?

​Rubes was 10 months when I was diagnosed with Graves’ Disease. Graves’ Disease is an autoimmune condition which means the body's immune system mistakes healthy cells for foreign invaders and attacks them. It causes the thyroid gland to produce too much thyroid hormone, which is called hyperthyroidism.

It is relatively easy to treat. But, if left untreated it can have serious consequences.

​
​This all came to the fore after visiting my GP because I was a little worried about some of the things that I was feeling and experiencing. They could have been expected, but I wasn’t sure being first time mummy. It included significant weight loss (could be related to breast feeding, anxiety and not making time to eat), increased sweating (could be related to breast feeding), irregular heartbeat (could be related to feeling anxious), anxiety (being a first time mummy), loss in libido (being a mummy, working and frickin tired), no periods (breast feeding), etc.

Anyway, my Doctor said go and get some bloods taken, which resulted in him saying you need to see a specialist immediately. The results were worrying to him.

Off I went to see the specialist. He said ‘Well your results indicate that you have Graves and with the results as they are you need to start on medication immediately. We will have you on a plan for a few years and see how you respond. In the meantime, if you are still breast feeding you will need to stop and start the medication today’. All I could ask was, ‘what are you saying, I can no longer breastfeed my baby?’ Not, what does this actually mean or what are the long-term implications, etc. No more breastfeeding!! Heartbroken.

Rubes had only ever had my milk. And, although, she was used to taking a bottle being a day-care, the bottle was my milk and in the morning and evenings she was still on my boob… I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

I know breastfeeding for a lot of women can be difficult, but I was very blessed and fortunate to be able to breastfeed and just loved every moment of it. Even when Rubes disfigured one of my nipples with her teeth. But, that is a whole other story.

So, with the information I just got from the Doctor and taking it all at face value, not looking into alternative solutions or even asking further questions, that night I started taking the medication.

Moving forward 2.5 years, I was told I was in remission and could come of the meds. YAY!!

Moving forward another 3 years, similar symptoms came back – nooooooooooooooooo! Off I went to the Doctors, bloods taken and, back to the specialist. He said ‘now that it has come back you have 3 options; surgically removed. Radioactive Iodine or meds for life. WTF?? Surely not? He said go away and have a think and next time you come back we can talk through your decision.

Surgically removed – which means still on medication for the rest of my life to account for not having a thyroid

Radioactive Iodine – which means I cannot cuddle my man or daughter for 2 weeks and can’t be close to anyone for that period. IF that is the risk for others what the hell will it do to me

Medication – which means medication FOR LIFE!

I walked away in disbelief. If I don’t do what he says I could end up, worst case, bulging eyes (I already have my bung eye – I don’t want a bulging bung eye), swollen goiter, or HEART FAILURE.

Then it came to me. Emotional Freedom Techniques/EFT or tapping. Knowing that EFT Tapping can be used for so many things, why not try it on this. I have used it for so many other areas in my life and I reckon there could be some unresolved issues causing this diagnosis.

With that said, and whilst gathering my thoughts and working out a plan, I took the medication again for a little bit, but after a short while decided to not take it. As I said, knowing the success I had with other significant areas in my life using EFT Tapping, my gut feel was that this would work for me and I was prepared to take the chance. Rightly or wrongly, that was my decision and I am not advocating stopping medication and would recommend partnering with your Doctor to take a wholistic approach to healing.

So, I started tapping. I initially tapped on feeling angry, sad and shocked the first time I was diagnosed with Graves. I tapped on being sad about stopping breastfeeding. I tapped on being angry that I did something wrong to have gotten Graves. I tapped on being angry about having to work when I had a baby and part of me wanted to stay at home and be a stay-at-home mummy (the other part was happy to work). I tapped and tapped. I went back to past memories linked to some of my negative beliefs about myself and through tapping on other areas in my life, which were probably all intertwined the end result was hearing the specialist say ‘you no longer need to take the medication and I don’t need to see you anymore’.

Joy to the world!

I am now very happily not taking medication and continue on my healing journey on other areas of my life…

Our emotions, beliefs and feelings can and do impact our health and can cause illness. Why not explore ways of dealing with your emotions to minimise the risk of getting an illness.

Using EFT/Tapping could augment your approach to your health issues you encounter and ultimately enhance your life.