“Don’t sweat the small stuff,” my dad used to say to me. What happens if the small stuff was actually BIG stuff to me? Were you allowed to feel your emotions as a child, or even now? Or, did you hear comments like:
God bless you, dad. Sadly, you are no longer with us, and I love and miss you, but can I tell you, hearing that from you, really impacted me. The small stuff was big at the time for me. Hearing those words made me feel like I couldn’t talk to you and share what I was feeling. It made me feel like it was wrong to feel or experience whatever it was I was experiencing. And to be honest, I felt shit and sad quite often about being bullied and felt like I couldn’t talk about it. And I felt emotional at times (sad, guilty, mad) about you and mum divorcing and thinking you were alone and lonely given mum had remarried and Sal and I lived most of the time with them.
Yep. Don’t sweat the small stuff stopped me from having a voice and feeling like it was OK to feel these feelings. I didn’t feel safe to fully express myself; the good, the bad, the ugly! I just pushed those emotions and thoughts down, down, down. But, where did they go? They didn’t go anywhere except buried deep in a place where I didn’t have to feel or think about it. They were suppressed. But, what happened was they started showing up in my adult years. I was being triggered by certain people in my life, comments being made, situations I was in. And, voila, the sadness, the anger, the worry, the stress, the anxious feelings appeared. So, that small stuff, ain't so small to me. All of that said, I am happy to say that I found a brilliant tool. It's called EFT or tapping. It has allowed me to work through a lot of that stuff. A lot of those memories that hold negative emotions and beliefs, I have used EFT/tapping to bring calm and a shift in energy and emotion. Dad, I know you were only doing your best, because you weren’t allowed to feel your feelings as a boy or even as a grown man. And, I love you dearly. But, I am here to stop that ‘generational’ story from continuing and as I continue to work through my stuff, I hold a space for Ruby to feel and work through her emotions. This is critical for her mental and emotional health, wellbeing and resilience. I think if you were here, dad, you’d be open to using tapping… well, I would have made you try it. Does this sound like a familiar story? Do you remember hearing comments like the ones above? Think about possible comments you heard over and over as a child and how that might be showing up for you now. Any ill-feeling show up? These comments have possibly stopped you from fully experiencing and feeling your emotions, expressing yourself and being authentically you. If you feel uncomfortable or scared when you feel a certain emotion or feel like you are not allowed or able to talk about how you are feeling, could that possibly impact your potential for living your life unreservedly? Do you want to try something that could help you to live your life unreservedly? EFT/Tapping is so beneficial and could change your life. To learn more contact me. I would love to tell you more and discuss how this could help you
3 Comments
Purdy Donovan
31/3/2019 10:01:07 pm
Amazing post. So brave to share your experience to help others. Thank you Katie. As a mum of boys, this is incredible advice to read and share with my husband. Thanks for making us more aware of the impact it can have if we don't give our kids a voice and a safe place to express their feelings.
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2/4/2019 11:24:29 pm
Beautifully written and designed..intimate and personal yet I think so mnay of us can relate....thank you for sharing this message, it's an important one for so many to hear...
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3/4/2019 07:33:52 pm
Thank you for your vulnerability As a father of adult daughters with their own families your story resonated
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Katie offers one-to-one coaching and group sessions, based in Perth, Western Australia.
Using Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) / Tapping in a safe and supportive environment.
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While we make every effort to ensure that material on this site is accurate and up to date, such material does in no way constitute professional, legal or medical advice. Careers Count Consulting does not guarantee, and accepts no liability arising from or connected to, the accuracy, reliability, currency or completeness of any material contained on this website or any linked site. Users should seek appropriate independent professional advice prior to relying on, or entering into any commitment based on material published on this site. By entering the site, you will be deemed to have released and discharged Careers Count Consulting from all liability (including negligence) for all claims, losses expenses, damages, and costs the user may incur as a result of relying on the information on this site. By entering the site, you will be assuming all risks associated with the use of this site, including risks to your computer, software or data by any virus which might be transmitted, downloaded or activated via this or an external website and/or its contents. Material, summarised views, standards or recommendations of third parties, which may also be included on this site, do not necessarily reflect the views of Careers Count Consulting or indicate a commitment to a particular course of action. Careers Count Consulting has no direct control over the content of any linked websites, or the changes that may occur to the content on those websites. Links to external websites are provided in good faith, but it is the responsibility of the user to make their own decisions about the accuracy, currency, reliability and correctness of information contained in linked external websites